Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
