I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So. Much. Porn.
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