Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize