Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
