Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
