Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
