her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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