he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
