I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
