Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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