You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
