that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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