If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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