i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
