I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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