I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
