Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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