Kiss
Puke
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
