to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
