Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
where am i from again
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
