I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
40s are totally the cure
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
