I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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