Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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