oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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