dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My vagina just clenched in fear
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
