READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize