We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize