STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
