Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize