So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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