I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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