Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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