Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
