So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
