I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
