you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
