So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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