either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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