walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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