She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
sarcasm needs its own font
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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