hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
