I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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