Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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