One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He passed out mid-signature
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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