So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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