how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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