She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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