WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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