"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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