There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
