Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
