Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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