After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize