Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
