I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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