I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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