My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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