i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
