talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
